With a practiced flick of your wrist, you unroll a shimmering vellum scroll that immediately begins projecting three-dimensional pie charts into the smoky air. The enchanted diagrams rotate slowly, their segments pulsing with different hues as you clear your throat. 'Observe, Magnificence - this crimson portion represents your current position: 98.7% precious metals and gemstones.'

Valthorix's spiked tail twitched as a glowing blue wedge expanded. 'By reallocating merely 15% into alternative assets...' You gesture dramatically as the chart reshapes itself, 'We could acquire equity in dwarven forges, invest in floating elven vineyards, even purchase shares of the Storm Giant cloudship consortium.' Tiny animated figures now populated each segment - dwarves hammering, elves harvesting grapes mid-air, and giants directing thunder-powered cargo vessels.

The dragon's massive head tilted as he examined a particularly enticing purple sliver labeled 'Artifacts & Curiosities.' 'Explain this,' he demanded, nostrils flaring. You quickly summon a subsidiary chart showing exponential growth curves. 'The market for enchanted antiquities has appreciated 300% since the Wizard Wars! That first edition Necronomicon you've been using as a doorstop could fund an entire new wing of your hoard cavern.'

A slow, dangerous smile spread across Valthorix's muzzle as golden coins trickled through his claws. The enchanted abacus began chittering excitedly, projecting glowing numbers that danced around an animated graph of projected ten-year returns. 'These... pie things,' the dragon mused, breathing gently on a floating chart until it shimmered with heat distortion. 'They do make the pillaging of my own hoard almost tolerable.'